Good Morning Family!!! My name is Tyler. I’m grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I am a recovering Alcoholic. My Sobriety Date is October 15th, 2014. Today, I want to make a deep and personal commitment to stay sober, one moment at a time, just one day at a time, just for today.
I hope everyone has an awesome day. I want to thank all of you who shot up a prayer last night for me. Like I said in the post, it’s nothing negative and nothing urgent, however it does involve a lot of discernment. Most of the people on my friends list here know at least part of my testimony. Some know more than others because of how deep of a relationship or friendship we might have. Others of you may not know any of it and a few out there may “think” they know part of it.
Over the course of the last couple of years, I’ve become very open about my testimony, my struggle with alcoholism, and the destructive decisions I made that created chaos in my life and quite frankly, everyone else’s lives within breathing distance of me. I’ve stated on previous occasions that I have no doubt that I am alive today because God decided he wasn’t finished with me yet. I’m alive and free because of the grace that Jesus Christ gives us all. I’m alive because his blood covered all our sin. God is still on the throne, he’s still in the restoration business and he’s still changing the lives of those that hit their knees and give up the baggage, anxiety, guilt, shame, remorse and sin.
One thing I had to accept early on in recovery is that I wasn’t that special. In 2015, Alcoholism and Alcohol abuse effected over 15.1 Million adults (Over age 18). That’s 9.8 Million Men and 5.3 Million Women. Those are only reported cases on record. An estimated 60% of people that are currently struggling with Alcohol cling to denial and do not look for a way out because of the perceived stigma and the baggage that goes along with admitting that “I am an Alcoholic.” Sadly, for their families, this denial doesn’t stop the emotional, financial, and sometimes physical destruction that comes with the actions of the active alcoholic. This is extremely disheartening considering the amount of knowledge we have today about genetics and the role they play in the susceptibility of some people to be prone to dependence on Alcohol. We also understand more today about what happens to human body when copious amounts of Alcohol are consumed over a long-term span. Alcohol is a drug. Combine this drug with Mental Illness and you have a deadly combination in many cases. It’s been widely accepted in the Mental Health world for many years that Many Alcoholics are individuals that desperately need counseling or psychiatric care. Alcohol as far as a form of self-medication usually leads to one of three destinations; Jail, Institution or Death. For the loved ones of the Alcoholic or Addict, the end is often tragic. Lives, relationships and plans are buried. Too often, Funerals are planned instead.
If you don’t believe what I’ve stated, I urge you to do the research and come back and talk with me. I’ve spoken with or listened to too many ministers call it nothing But SIN and it makes my blood boil. Is much of the consequences of Alcoholism Sin? Yes, absolutely. We are still accountable to God and to others here on Earth for choices. There are and always should be consequences for our choices. It’s kind of like this: If a diabetic doesn’t know why his or her insulin level is out whack, he or she is accountable to go to the doctor before a tragic medical emergency occurs. God has provided the medicinal world with unique ways of combating Diabetes today. For the Alcoholic, there are 2 distinct issues at play. Because Alcohol is only a symptom of the deeper issues, you have to separate the dependence on Alcohol with the reason(s) the Alcoholic picks up the first drink. Then and only then, in truth (because that’s the only way God works) can you tackle Sobriety.
Please understand that I do NOT hide behind Alcoholism as an excuse for any of the decisions I made while I was out there drinking. For me, many of the “isms” and “seeds” were planted long before I ever took my first drink. Alcohol became the final ingredient of a deadly recipe for what I allowed my life to snowball into at one point. I’ve often shared that in my case, the way a few events unfolded became the perfect storm that I allowed to obliterate life as I knew it. That storm made landfall in the fall of 2013.
Last July, my Family and I stood around a hospital bed in Louisville as my Momma lay there, dying. It is no secret that Momma struggled with addiction and had for over 35 years. She was rather open about her choices. My Momma was one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever known. Her heart was pure and I can tell you today that all she ever wanted was to be loved and to feel secure. Momma’s journey here on Earth ended at age 50. She would’ve been 51 on February 18th. I remember stroking her hair, telling her I loved her and I would see her again. I am proud to say that a few days before she passed, she firmly accepted Jesus as her lord and savior. Someday, down the road, we will hug each other again. My Aunt was primarily responsible for her care in those final months and had stepped up so many ways in the years prior to Mom passing. When Christian was born 11 Weeks early in April, he spent the next couple of months in the NICU. He and Momma never got to meet face to face. We got to take him home the second week of June and were advised to be extremely careful where we took him those first several weeks we were home. The day before Mom passed, I made I call to Christian’s Pediatrician. I advised her of what was going on and she authorized a quick in room visit. Momma was already incoherent but for just a few moments we were able to put them in the same room. Even though Momma couldn’t speak, I know she knew he was there.
As my heart broke, I knew what obligation I had to my wife and my son. It was job to help break the cycle. It was my job to step up as a Christian man, husband and Father to my wife and my son. It is MY job to be vocal and when the time comes, sit down with Christian and tell him what life was like, what happened and what it’s like now. It’s my job to share my testimony with him, so someday, down the road, he knows the risks but he’ll also have the knowledge to make smarter choices when it comes to Alcohol, Drugs, or hopefully anything else for that matter. For these reason, I know I cannot be quiet, I can NOT be dismissive, I can NOT be passive with what God had blessed me with. If I am, then I being negligent in the responsibility he has tasked me with.
Over the course of the last several weeks, I’ve been feeling God calling me out to be more vocal about my testimony. As I stated before, I’m pretty open now, but I can tell God wants me to step out further. I’m willing to do that, but at the same time, I want to make sure I do that right. As a former Trooper, it was my job to stop cars, investigate traffic stops, and arrest DUI drivers. I did that and did it well. As trained and as skilled as I was at that job, I couldn’t see the Alcoholic in the mirror. When I did begin to admit there was a problem, I couldn’t move past my pride to ask for help and release the control I THOUGHT I had. By sharing my testimony, I want it to be about God and what he’s done not only in my life, but in those I’ve met in the last 3 ½ years. I was almost immediately surrounded by recovery when I ended up in Elizabethtown and I know that factor was no accident. I want people to know that there is help and that “STIGMA” is no reason not to save your life or to help save someone else’s. As a former Law Enforcement Officer, I can tell you that there are too many unreported cases of Alcohol Abuse that go along with the job. Officer suicide happens far too often and just like bodily death from the damage of Alcohol, it’s avoidable when someone knows it’s okay to pick up the phone and call someone.
Many of the choices I made early in my Journey, directly affected or harmed someone else. I am extremely aware of that today. With that being said, it is NOT my job to make that situation or damage worse or deeper. I will never directly address an individual or situation from the past where that could happen. I will always own my part, but it’s also not my job to clean anyone else’s side of the street. I have attempted to make those amends with the persons I harmed. I pray today they know and understand that I wish I could erase it, but I know it’s not possible.
I know God is calling me to be obedient. I believe that God is calling me to basically begin a blog series about my Journey through Alcoholism and what he’s done in my life. I don’t want it to be about me though. By blogging, I hope that someone out there, even if it’s one person, see’s the words, hears the message and takes the black off the white. I know that when I first stepped into the rooms of Recovery, I was shocked when I began hearing others’ share some of the very things they did in active Alcoholism that were identical or close to some of the same poor choices I made.
Thank you for your prayers in advance. Right now, I’m looking for the right blog platform and praying over what God wants me to say. I want each post to be prayed over before I ever hit submit. I also know that not everyone that reads what I post with agree with me. That’s okay. I spent years swearing I would never make some of the negative choices my Momma made. In my Journey, I’ve made a lot of those. I still believe today that as a Trooper, there were three types of folks that I dealt with on DUI stops. Those that made a mistake and drank 1 too many, those that felt the law didn’t apply to them, and then there were those needed help. I believe that strongly and passionately today. That’s what I want to do. Is share my experience so those out there suffering that come across the posts know, they too are not alone.
Psalms 103:2-3, “Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.”
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